Friday, February 18, 2011

Moonstruck


*imdb.com
I’ve decided I should’ve started this blog when I could actually afford to go to movies. But since I didn’t, and now I can’t, it might take me a while to review them. Maybe even a few decades.

This particular movie I had never been interested in seeing (since I was only a kid when it came out), but was on a list in the newspaper of movies to watch on Valentine’s Day. Movies that wouldn’t end with your man whimpering on the sofa (and NOT because he’s so touched by the storyline of “The Notebook”).

So for our budget-friendly V-Day, we ate our candlelit gourmet meal at home and moved to the sofa to watch “Moonstruck”.

Well, for one thing, this movie stars Cher. Have you heard her speak? Yeah, neither have I. Still. That should be enough said. It also stars a very young and scrawny Nicholas Cage. With his own hair. Still. The paper described it as an Italian version of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. Now, I love Italians and all, but I think the Greeks did this one better.

Cher plays Loretta, a middle-aged widow who gets engaged to a guy she doesn’t love so she can do it right – in a church, unlike the first time. Her fiancĂ© asks her to convince his estranged brother, Ronny (Cage), to attend the wedding, and in their arguing about his going or not going, Ronny and Loretta sleep together. (So much for doing it right!) In the night when they wake up together, they see an abnormally large moon in the sky. I guess it struck them... or something.

What should have struck them is how morally wrong the whole premise of this movie is. Girl meets boy, boy loves girl, girl sleeps with boy’s brother, boy’s brother steps out with girl. Girl’s mom loves girl’s dad, girl’s dad steps out with someone not the girl’s mom… and supposedly romance and hilarity ensue. I didn’t really see either. I guess I just have a hard time finding “romance” in immorality.

Eventually it all comes out in the open, and it also all works out in the end. I guess the only reasons to see this movie are to catch a glimpse of a young Nicholas Cage play a boy disgruntled over ‘losing his hand and his girl’, see Frasier’s ‘dad’ as a womanizing college professor, and hear Olympia Dukakis’ (Rose) Oscar winning line. … But wait, even that takes the Lord’s name in vain. Tell you what. I’ll save you the time and give you the edited version.

Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta: Aw, ma, I love him awful.
Rose: Oh, that's too bad.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Isn't it About... Time?

Call me old fashioned, but I love to read the newspaper.

Sure, it makes your hands all black and inky. It smells funny, and after a couple weeks, it starts to multiply itself and suddenly you're buried in a sea of ads, comics, and old news.


But I love it all the same. All the memories I have of a regular weekday evening at home involve my dad hiding behind one. (No, we weren't that badly behaved.) He just liked to be informed. And maybe he liked to look too busy to do the dishes... Or that could have been just me.

Reading the newspaper made me feel grown up and well-read. (Of course, I only read the comics and the movie listings, but trust me - reading the wisdom of Calvin & Hobbes on a daily basis can make one feel very mature!)

Anyway, now that the only free T.V. is the pixelated mess they call "digital", and not actually really free (with the cost of converter boxes, antennas, or new HDTV's), the newspaper is not just a sweet tradition or past-time; it's my window to the world! Everything I know about politics, movies, news, etc. I owe to my daily paper. I thought one day I might even owe my career to it.

One of my many aspirations was to be a movie critic for the newspaper. But then I found out you had to watch the crappy movies as well as the good. So I changed my mind. I figured even better, I could become one of those journalists who got to write about anything or nothing. How cool would that be?! But then I heard it's a pretty cutthroat biz, writing about nothing. Who knew?

So I ended up being a blogger who writes about the movies I choose and anything or nothing else I want to write about! Dream come true!! .... Except I don't get paid. Bummer. What was I blogging about anyway? Oh yeah. Newspapers.

Specifically The Deseret News. They just started an online tool called the "Family Media Guide". It's still in the testing stage, but users can rate movies based on how they thought they should be rated - BRILLIANT!, how good they were, and the bottom line - if they were really worth your time.

Because even though you may have left a movie thinking, "What a waste of 8 (or 10 or 12) bucks! I want my money back!", isn't it even worse to have left a movie thinking, "What a waste of my life! I want my two hours back!"??

After all, we can always earn more money. But we live on
only borrowed time.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Eat Pray Love

*imdb.com
For reasons I will not go in to here, I often find myself home alone. Not like Kevin McCallister Home Alone - forgotten and left to fight bad guys on my own – but like my-attitude-is-not-fit-for-human-consumption-today so I need to be home alone… It’s the perfect time to watch the movies no one wants to watch with me. One of these was “Eat Pray Love”.

This film features Julia Roberts as a woman disenchanted with her job, her marriage, her life - ultimately, with herself. We follow her on her journey to find self through eating in Italy (because that’s what Italians do best – LOVE them!), praying in India, and eventually finding “true love” in Bali.

Let me just say first that this movie is GORGEOUS!! Julia is gorgeous– seriously, how does she look even better with age?!? – the scenery is gorgeous, the food is so gorgeous I wish I were watching it on Wonkavision. There is so much for the eye to feast on! I loved how this movie allowed me to explore places I may never visit in my own life, to really feel the experience of the countries and the peoples and the cultures she visits.

However… this movie is filled with all kinds of things I have issues with, some just plain old false doctrine in ‘self-discovery’ sheep’s clothing.

First, at the beginning of the film, she is in a marriage – a binding contract between a man and a woman to cleave to and love one another, at least as long as they live. And her man, though not perfect, loves her and has, in his own words, “kept my vows”. She admits throughout the film that she once loved him, too. BUT, one restless night, she prays for help. And this starts her on her journey to leave her husband and her former life to find herself...? Because marriage and families are essential to God’s plan for us, His children, I find it almost impossible to believe this path she takes would be inspired by Him.

She jumps ship from the marriage she’s scuttled to the arms of James Franco. Let’s be honest, as most people who have casual sex outside of marriage experience, this doesn’t make her feel any better about herself, so she leaves him. To Italy. And food. Now I am a big fan of food. And this portion of the film has some wonderful characters that I loved best in all the film. It also unfortunately has “eat, drink, and be merry” written all over it.

From Italy, we move to India, where she spends time in prayer, meditation, and service. Though I do not personally believe in the religion practiced there, I do appreciate the focus on these three fundamentals. I believe that if we give ourselves time to pray and meditate or ponder, we will find inspiration. And in looking for others’ needs and serving them, we will find joy. Like gravity, these are natural laws, and I know for myself they work.

My favorite part of the film takes place in Bali, when she and her friends help a single mother and daughter own a home. The joy portrayed in this part of the film is true happiness. By incorporating prayer, meditation, and little acts of kindness here, she finally finds herself in Bali. Note: This is not to be confused with her new-found love that she romps around with. Though he is charming and sweet, their immorality ruins it for me. I couldn’t care less about that relationship… I guess I never got over her leaving her husband, even though she did.

So, what’s the moral of the story here – Well, I don’t think one has to leave everything behind and travel around the world to find oneself. I think that if we pray, ponder, and look for ways to serve those around us right where we are, happiness will come. Even greater happiness will come as we add all these things – and fidelity – to our marriage relationships. Looking for it in any other way just won’t work.

So Eat, but not too much. Pray, but not too little. And Love; it will never fail.

Friday, February 4, 2011

My New Celebrity Crush

I have three words for you today:
Nico.
Evers.
Swindell.

I'm sure you, like I, have never heard of him. But if you happen to see the upcoming Lifetime movie "William & Kate", you probably will hear of him someday. He's been cast as Prince William, and according to a website called zap2it, "You can see from his headshots that he's obviously got the Prince William good looks."

Um, excuse me!?! He's got FAR BETTER than Prince William's looks!! If people think Kate caught a prince, she should see who her TV counterpart caught! NICE!

I definitely think he falls into the "lovely...of good report, or praiseworthy" category, don't you?


*Disclaimer* These pictures are from his imdb.com profile. I do not claim to own or have any rights to them whatsoever. I just wanted you to see what he looks like. ... *sigh*